Johns Poems

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If only I could write down the perfect line,
A phrase so smart,
In the context of Van Gogh's art.
That would be the perfect sign,
It would keep you here for all time.
A special rhyme,
That would elude the restless kind,
Of weary nights,
And cold sweats,
My mother will finally get a good nights rest.
I'm too comfortable in pain,
Too warm in this icy rain,
Counting the days,
Before my family goes insane.
I want to rid of all this mess,
Cure the disease we possess,
Reach inside an empty box,
And pick out the perfect lock,
To trap away all our tears,
And hope for a better year,
Nothing's the same without her here.

"I'm so sorry for your loss"
But what the hell am I suppose to say to that?
Why does everyone have to feel sorry?
Is everyone looking at me?
I'm the concern of everyone,
For everything I don't want to be.
Do they understand how deep this hole really is?
Cause I'm seriously doubting they do.
It's not like the rock that split by head,
Not the broken bones,
Not the scraped knees,
Not the failure on a test,
Or even striking out with a pretty girl,
Add up all my shortcomings, mistakes, and aches
And multiply it times infinity
And you got what I'd gladly take,
Each and every day.
These wouldn't even cover the bottom of this hole
Not even close.
The loss of you in more unbearable than words can say.
Nothing prepared me for this kind of pain,
But it's for damn sure,
That theres no rainbow waiting beyond all this rain.

Give me a sign.,send me just one line.
tell me your ok,
but confort me with what you say.
im as vulnerable as ever,
and i sure as hell dont feel clever anymore.
i dont know how i go on eachday,
so please just send me a sign,
are your really ok?
cause we really need some closure down here,
our hearts are on the floor,
they need to be swept up,
and you need to sew the sores,
cause we cant go on without you here anymore.

Driving for what seems like days,
I blink for a second, and all i can see is your face,
beautiful and pure,
this isnt suppose to be your last year.
with each tear,
returns a memory,
that leaves me in constant fear.
this is my last breath,
just let me lay here till i disconnect,
without you i cant redirect,
my life is one out of focus mess,
and theres no turning back now.
ive made up my mind,
im coming now to see you,
so split those 2 stars,
make room for me,
or am i too far?
cause im on the highway through the galaxy,
and your my tour guide,
direct me to your side,
and just hold me above the sky,
and wipe my tears,
just one last time....
did i make it in time?

© Poems are all Copyright of John Oliva